Am I wasting my time? Am I waiting for something that will never happen?
For something that exists only in my dreams?
Will I ever learn never to play with fire? Never to let anybody so close to my soul?

It feels like my brain is tuned 24/7 to the same radio station.

It's like I can't breathe, sometimes. Like I'm drowning and I look up for a hand to hold, to rescue me from this situation, one way or the other. But it's easy to look the other way.
And I'm left to figure this out on my own, and brace myself to pick up all the little pieces my soul may end up being shattered into...

Will I ever learn?

But it's not a matter of learning, unfortunately. It's a matter of being true to myself, to how I am.
This is what I am. This is how I am.
And I like to be able to listen to my heart.