My family's Italian, I mean Italian. And I'm not talking about some cartoon version of what you think being Italian means, like some badly scripted parody. I mean having a strong sense of responsibility about your place in the family and the implications of your actions on your family. I mean, knowing that your parents and relatives live for you and your brother and your sister and your cousins and eventually your children. They live for you and hope for you and live through you. And in this world, this small, rarefied world, every action brings honor or dishonor, respect or disrespect to your father, your mother, even your grandmother [...]. It's a sense that I'm part of a whole system and that no matter how hard I try and pull away I keep getting sucked back into the sphere of this family, like a lesser planet which hovers around a large one.
(Michelle Alfano. "You Can't Be Too Strong." Stories from Blood & Aphorisms. Toronto: Gutter Press. 1993: 50-63)
Finally someone who is able to capture the essence of the Italian family relations. Sometimes it is hard to explain why we are so attached to our families, why I am always and no matter what at my mother's and grandmother's beck and call. It's not just because, well, they are my 'elders' and, as such, deserve respect, but it's also because of the particular family relationship that ties us to each other.
Sometimes it can feel like a burden, for this feeling of unconditional attachment never leaves you, you can never forget that all their eyes are fixed on you and on your every move. you can feel them watching you even if you're 9 time zones away, you wake up and for a split second you hear their voices in your head, "be good, behave well, don't be a disappointment."
But to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way: when everything else falls apart, when I don't know where to turn or who to turn to, this is THE ONE thing that I can always count on. Knowing that there will always be a group of people who will love you no matter what.
How many people are lucky enough to be able to say the same?
Nov 16, 2005
Family is family
Posted by Gaia at 11:27 PM
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4 comments:
Wow Gaia, I was (pleasantly) shocked to find this quote on your blog as this fiction piece is now so old (1993)... how did you find it? You are based in Calfiornia?? I was searching for a link on B&A for my own blog because I was writing about a colleague I met during the 90s when I was the Fiction Editor for B&A. What a nice suprise! Love the look of your blog too.
oh hello! now this is a surprise, and a good one indeed! and it's an honor to meet you.
well, i have the book where that piece appeared, and that paragraph particularly appealed to me. very well written!
yes, i am based in california, finishing a degree in literature :)
and thanks for your kind words on the blog, glad you like it.
Well you have a new fan - is that your own photography - the photos are quite beautiful. I will add your blog to my blog roll - thanks again for the mention.
Ciao cugina,
Michelle
wow, and what a fan! thank you so much.
yes, it is mainly my photography, unless otherwise stated. some are my writings, some (usually in italics) are quotes from songs or books that appeal to me in some way.
un abbraccio :)
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