one step closer

i'm around the corner from anything that's real
i'm across the road from hope
i'm under a bridge in a rip tide
that's taken everything i call my own
[...]
i'm on an island at a busy intersection
i can't go forward, i can't turn back
can't see the future, it's getting away from me
i just watch the tail lights glowing

this is why i dislike to be away. silence. disconnection. it hurts. it brings up a general malaise, and i don't know what to do. locked behind a thick rubber wall. can you hear me scream? even my joints hurt under this weight. a storm brews inside. can you see the rain through my eyes?
away. removed. alone.
save me.

in so many words, ugly

"you have a boyfriend in america?"

"no gramma, i don't."

"oh, well, don't worry if nobody wants you. you don't need one anyway. it's not that you're not pretty... i guess. but don't worry, you don't need to be pretty, you have other qualities."