Today I had the piercing epiphany that I have been unable to verbalize for a long time. All of a sudden the concept hit me in the face, swimming upstream through the cascade of your nebulously conceptualized explanation of an equally incomprehensible (uh huh, to moi and moi alone, don't I feel special) blabber.
I'm fraudulently participating in your world.
Too practical for your abstractism, it still takes me a leap of faith to assume you can take me seriously and allow me to pretend a little longer. Just the handful of months it takes me to get out of here, don't worry. I'll be gone before you know it. Or notice it, not that it makes much difference in the grand scheme of your world. Bottom line is, I paid the multiply overpriced ticket which entitles (wtf?) me to a front-row seat, witnessing my own beating ~ psychological, what are you thinking? ~ and I come to terms day after day, talk after talk, with the realization that I'll just never live up to your expectations.
You know what? I'm ok with it.
I learned a long time ago to respectfully bow, and gracefully make myself scarce. One moment I'm here, you see me, you hear me, you smell me, you notice me [stop staring, will ya? i ain't a fish in a bowl, just mildly amusing] you deal with me. One moment I'm here, and the next
I
am
gone
Miss?
me?
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