Today I heard someone say that every time we help someone, even with our best intentions, we are giving a clear display of selfishness. This person maintained that any kind of help we give to a fellow human being is dictated by the need for us to feel better, to satisfy our inner need to self-realization in something - namely, in performing a good action.
Is it true? Is the intention to help someone else always dictated by our selfishness? Can it be argued that we help other people because we like to help, we like to be there for other people, and we do not have a hidden agenda about it?
Can it be that our willingness to help is actually a display of selflessness? Doesn't it show that we are not self-centered, self-obsessed beings who are unable to consider any other problems but our own?
I refuse to believe that, when someone helps me with something, they are doing so because it makes them feel better. Just as much as when I help someone, or do something nice for them, I don't want them to think that I do so to satisfy my own need for recognition. As a matter of fact, a few times I helped friends in ways that put me in danger, or that did not benefit me at all; in fact, quite the contrary. But that was a long time ago.
Probably I feel so upset because this is the way I was brought up - with the idea that you never refuse help to anyone (and yes, so many people have taken advantage of my inability to say no).
Is the happiness I get from seeing someone smile really a proof of my selfishness? Have I lived a delusion for the best part of my - albeit short - life?
Jan 17, 2006
A helping hand
Posted by Gaia at 11:08 PM
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3 comments:
Personally I do like to help people, and I believe no selfishness is involved if their happiness increases my trembling self esteem. Have a nice day "Gaia", and thanks for your helpful (that's it!) e-mail.
I can't speak for you but there is no denying that I am selfish in many things I do.
What's important to me, however, is not that I am selfish, but how I make use of my selfish traits.
i believe selfishness is a part of our being human, there is no denying that - if only due to a sense of self-preservation and defense. as long as it is not used as a sort of weapon to hurt those around us, for then turns a defense into an offense.
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