oltre alla beffa, il danno

e' gia' difficile di per se' venire a sapere di non essere il miglior amico di qualcuno via FB o posts sul blog, senza che sia necessario anche vederselo sbattere in faccia.

davvero mi chiedo cos'ho fatto di male...

do we speak the same language here?

i guess the message didn't go through the first time around.

or maybe it's me, my weakness, my hatred for confrontation. i let you patronize me; i tried to forget and let it go, and what i get in return is condescension. you do know how to crush with carefully selected words, arranged neatly to underline your moral superiority.

things will really never be the same again. you came like a hurricane. go ahead, take it, it's all yours. enjoy. but spare me the act.

no wonder i don't trust women.

name your price

i'll trade you

my dream

for someone else's

too late

there's no turning back

too late's come and gone

(had i asked in time, would you have said yes?)

lives

one taken

one given

i'm sorry

congrats

next time

be happy

i know

i won't

double-edged sword

"oh, don't worry. if you need help, call her. she's always willing to help."

i know it's what i do.

it's what i want to do.

so why did that make me feel so cheap?

but being ignored makes me feel even cheaper.

شکریہ

for being you~

2/14,1210-2

come to the ivory tower, we have cookies

"For all its claims to the contrary, graduate education does not seem to enhance the mental freedom of many students, some of whom are psychologically damaged by the experience. As Newhouse suggested -- perhaps more rhetorically than seriously -- graduate school these days seems to have a lot in common with mind-control cults."

[http://chronicle.com/jobs/news/2004/06/2004062801c.htm]

safer

wasted time building castles with sand

and every night i'll watch them fall and slip through my hand

and just when i think i'm on top i wonder how i'll get back down

and just then the moment is lost, i stumble and i hit the ground

food for thought

tears from the moon

couldn't sleep so i went out walking
thinking about you and hearing us talking
and all the things i should have said
echo now inside my head

weary

of being a plan b.
of being a regret.

it comes and it goes

some days i wanna and some days i don't / sometimes i can feel it and suddenly it's gone / some days i can tell you the truth and some days i just don't / only a change of mood, sun goes down / someone says something too quick or too soon / a touch not made, one made too late / armies of words cannot hope to contain / then it comes and it goes / and i have no control / some days i can think clear and some days i won't / sometimes i can feel it and suddenly it's gone / some days i am strong and some days my skin's broken and thin / that's when it feels and it takes what it needs / and it leaves before i get to know, it's only a step away / moments that armies of words cannot hope to contain / then it comes and it goes / and i can't make it home / and there's nothing at home / and it breaks me when it goes...

this way, please

welcome back

dancing in the dark

you can't start a fire
you can't start a fire without a spark

... --- ...

-.-. --- -- . / .... . .-. . --..-- / .-.. . - / -- . / .... --- .-.. -.. / -.-- --- ..- --..-- / ... .. -- .--. .-.. -.-- --..-- / --.- ..- .. . - .-.. -.-- --..-- / ... .. .-.. . -. - .-.. -.-- / .... --- .-.. -.. / -.-- --- ..- --..-- / -.- . . .--. / -.-- --- ..- / ... .- ..-. . .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / .-.. . - / -- . / - .-. -.-- / - --- / -- .- -.- . / .. - / --. --- / .- .-- .- -.-- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.-

bottle it up

stop

stop to pain and heartache, to sadness and tears.
do not cross with me into the new year.

stop to pettiness, lies, anger, fear, secrets, painful silences, discomfort, impatience, selfishness, lovelessness, misplaced trust, deceit, backstabbing, inconstant friendships, blindness.

stop to crushed dreams and hopes; stop to loneliness and abandonment; stop to opportunism and falseness.

stop. do not cross with me into the new year. i've had enough of you. you brought me to my knees, and others to theirs. i beg forgiveness if i failed to protect and save those i care about. i hope i paid my debt.

as of today, i've been here 3 times over the break, and for the 3rd time i'll be alone.

~ it's been a long december, and there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last ~

to all of you out there:

be loved.
be happy.
be safe.

farewell~

the heart asks pleasure first-the promise/the sacrifice

the heart asks pleasure first
and then, excuse from pain-
and then, those little anodynes
that deaden suffering;

and then, to go to sleep;
and then, if it should be
the will of its inquisitor,
the liberty to die.


[words by emily dickinson, music by michael nyman]

it's all the same...

... yet not quite so.


something's missing.

and its absence is louder than words.