don't know how to react anymore, or what to say. asked to understand and accept something that is never explained. asked to keep doing something that is always turned down. asked to quit doing something only to be berated later for having stopped. offer unconditional friendship and love, only to be told there's nobody who cares.
May 30, 2009
don't know
Posted by Gaia at 6:57 PM 3 comments
May 24, 2009
wings
Posted by Gaia at 9:03 PM 0 comments
May 23, 2009
one liner
i: [quizzical]
Posted by Gaia at 12:44 PM 0 comments
May 17, 2009
i can stand to be humbled. i can stand to be hurt.
Posted by Gaia at 9:07 PM 0 comments
Apr 12, 2009
have you seen that girl

have you seen that girl
that everybody says i used to be
have you seen that girl
where along the way did i lose me?
Posted by Gaia at 9:47 PM 1 comments
Apr 6, 2009
angel
Posted by Gaia at 11:45 PM 4 comments
Apr 4, 2009
speeding cars
Posted by Gaia at 12:16 AM 0 comments
Apr 2, 2009
now what?
i've become that person. the one i feared i would become, years ago.
Posted by Gaia at 9:33 PM 1 comments
Mar 22, 2009
they'll never know
and i’m talking to myself at night
because i can’t forget
back and forth through my mind
behind a cigarette
and the message coming from my eyes
says leave it alone
Posted by Gaia at 2:49 AM 0 comments
Mar 17, 2009
i wasn't here
Posted by Gaia at 2:23 AM 1 comments
Mar 10, 2009
this is the marriage of silence and love
Posted by Gaia at 10:33 PM 0 comments
Mar 4, 2009
got keys?
Posted by Gaia at 2:53 PM 0 comments
Feb 26, 2009
oltre alla beffa, il danno
e' gia' difficile di per se' venire a sapere di non essere il miglior amico di qualcuno via FB o posts sul blog, senza che sia necessario anche vederselo sbattere in faccia.
Posted by Gaia at 12:25 AM 4 comments
Feb 24, 2009
do we speak the same language here?
Posted by Gaia at 1:47 AM 0 comments
Feb 23, 2009
Feb 20, 2009
Feb 19, 2009
Feb 16, 2009
double-edged sword
"oh, don't worry. if you need help, call her. she's always willing to help."
Posted by Gaia at 1:02 PM 0 comments
Feb 14, 2009
Feb 4, 2009
come to the ivory tower, we have cookies
"For all its claims to the contrary, graduate education does not seem to enhance the mental freedom of many students, some of whom are psychologically damaged by the experience. As Newhouse suggested -- perhaps more rhetorically than seriously -- graduate school these days seems to have a lot in common with mind-control cults."
[http://chronicle.com/jobs/news/2004/06/2004062801c.htm]
Posted by Gaia at 3:38 PM 0 comments
Feb 1, 2009
safer
Posted by Gaia at 8:33 AM 0 comments
Jan 28, 2009
Jan 21, 2009
tears from the moon

couldn't sleep so i went out walking
thinking about you and hearing us talking
and all the things i should have said
echo now inside my head
Posted by Gaia at 12:21 AM 0 comments
Jan 18, 2009
Jan 14, 2009
it comes and it goes
some days i wanna and some days i don't / sometimes i can feel it and suddenly it's gone / some days i can tell you the truth and some days i just don't / only a change of mood, sun goes down / someone says something too quick or too soon / a touch not made, one made too late / armies of words cannot hope to contain / then it comes and it goes / and i have no control / some days i can think clear and some days i won't / sometimes i can feel it and suddenly it's gone / some days i am strong and some days my skin's broken and thin / that's when it feels and it takes what it needs / and it leaves before i get to know, it's only a step away / moments that armies of words cannot hope to contain / then it comes and it goes / and i can't make it home / and there's nothing at home / and it breaks me when it goes...
Posted by Gaia at 4:47 PM 0 comments
Jan 11, 2009
... --- ...
-.-. --- -- . / .... . .-. . --..-- / .-.. . - / -- . / .... --- .-.. -.. / -.-- --- ..- --..-- / ... .. -- .--. .-.. -.-- --..-- / --.- ..- .. . - .-.. -.-- --..-- / ... .. .-.. . -. - .-.. -.-- / .... --- .-.. -.. / -.-- --- ..- --..-- / -.- . . .--. / -.-- --- ..- / ... .- ..-. . .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / .-.. . - / -- . / - .-. -.-- / - --- / -- .- -.- . / .. - / --. --- / .- .-- .- -.-- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.-
Posted by Gaia at 7:47 AM 1 comments
Jan 7, 2009
Dec 31, 2008
stop
stop to pain and heartache, to sadness and tears.
do not cross with me into the new year.
stop to pettiness, lies, anger, fear, secrets, painful silences, discomfort, impatience, selfishness, lovelessness, misplaced trust, deceit, backstabbing, inconstant friendships, blindness.
stop to crushed dreams and hopes; stop to loneliness and abandonment; stop to opportunism and falseness.
stop. do not cross with me into the new year. i've had enough of you. you brought me to my knees, and others to theirs. i beg forgiveness if i failed to protect and save those i care about. i hope i paid my debt.
as of today, i've been here 3 times over the break, and for the 3rd time i'll be alone.
~ it's been a long december, and there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last ~
to all of you out there:
be loved.
be happy.
be safe.
farewell~
Posted by Gaia at 11:59 PM 1 comments
the heart asks pleasure first-the promise/the sacrifice

the heart asks pleasure first
and then, excuse from pain-
and then, those little anodynes
that deaden suffering;
and then, to go to sleep;
and then, if it should be
the will of its inquisitor,
the liberty to die.
[words by emily dickinson, music by michael nyman]
Posted by Gaia at 2:51 AM 0 comments
Dec 23, 2008
vorrei avere il becco
vorrei avere il becco / per accontentarmi delle briciole / concentrato e molto attento / si, ma con la testa fra le nuvole / capire i sentimenti quando nascono e quando muoiono / perciò vorrei avere i sensi per sentire il pericolo / se tutti quanti lo sanno ma hanno paura che l'amore è un inganno [...] più o meno come fa un piccione / e mica come le persone che a causa dei particolari / mandano per aria sogni e grandi amori [...] noi però alla fine resteremo insieme / più o meno come fa un piccione / l'amore sopra il cornicione / ti starò vicino nei momenti di crisi / e lontano quando me lo chiedi / dimmi che ci credi / ci sveglieremo la mattina, due cuori sotto una campana...
Posted by Gaia at 1:21 PM 0 comments
Dec 14, 2008
como agua para chocolate
Mi abuela, Luz Del Amanecer, una india Kikapoo, decía que todos nacemos con una caja de fósforos en nuestro interior y que no los podemos encender nosotros solos. Necesitamos, como en este experimento, del oxígeno y de la ayuda de una vela. Sólo que en nuestro caso, el oxígeno debe provenir por ejemplo del aliento de la persona amada. La luz de la vela puede ser cualquier cosa, una melodía, una palabra, una caricia, un sonido. Algo que dispare el detonador y encienda una de las cerillas. Cada persona tiene entonces que descubrir cuáles son sus detonadores para poder vivir, ya que la combustión que se realiza al encenderse uno de ellos, es lo que nutre de energía al alma. Si no hay detonador para los fósforos entonces la caja de cerillas se humedece y ya nunca podremos encender uno solo de ellos. Si eso llega a pasar el alma huye de nuestro cuerpo, camina errante por las tinieblas más profundas tratando vanamente de encontrar alimento por sí misma, ignorante de que sólo el cuerpo que ha dejado inerme, lleno de frío, es el único que podría dárselo. Por eso hay que permanecer alejados de personas que tengan un aliento gélido. Su sola presencia podría apagar el fuego más intenso. Mientras más distancia tomemos de estas personas, será más fácil protegernos de su soplo. El alma desea integrarse al lugar donde proviene, dejando al cuerpo inerte. Hay muchas maneras de poner a secar una caja de cerillas húmeda. Se puede estar seguro que sí tiene remedio, claro que también es muy importante encender las cerillas una por una, ya que si por una intensa emoción llegamos a encender todas de un solo golpe, se produce un resplandor tan fuerte que aparece ante nuestros ojos un túnel, esplendoroso, que nos muestra el camino que olvidamos al nacer y que a la vez nos llama a reencontrar nuestro perdido origen divino.
Posted by Gaia at 11:57 PM 2 comments
Dec 13, 2008
heal for the honey
points of light
shootin' through the tree-stained vines
it draws me in
to catch a fistful of wind and chime
[...]
poised, unrefined
delicate and loosely lined
oh i am a dreamer
but i'll deny it til' the day i die
Posted by Gaia at 2:37 AM 6 comments
Dec 11, 2008
come se il mondo...
a volte mi manchi, e ancora fa male / sarebbe una balla se dicessi di no / ma alla terza bottiglia si diventa più saggi / il dolore lo sai prima o poi svanirà / e allora brindo alla vita e a ciò che ci porta / bevo agli amici, ai compagni, anche a me / in un'osteria calda tra le nebbie e la bassa / dove posso sentirmi quasi come se...
... come se il mondo finisse stanotte...
Posted by Gaia at 10:33 PM 0 comments
random rant
want to tell me a lie? want to give me an excuse?
better be a damn good one, either way.
i always find out.
1- if you're my student, makes you look just the more pathetic and self-entitled, and it only exponentially increases my annoyance with you.
2- if you're my friend, it just &%@$*$# hurts. and there's only a handful of things more emotionally exhausting than pretending to be none the wiser.
Posted by Gaia at 1:47 AM 0 comments
Dec 9, 2008
Nov 27, 2008
thankful for...
1. the strength to carry on
2. the certainty that night will come, and then morning, and then night...
3. forgiveness
4. ...
Posted by Gaia at 1:49 PM 0 comments
Nov 26, 2008
Nov 24, 2008
circus lights

more light, more heat
are you asking me
to take you, hold you, show you more
more light, more heat
if you're asking me
i'll be there, when these circus lights go out
Posted by Gaia at 7:23 PM 2 comments
Nov 19, 2008
Nov 18, 2008
oggi è domani è oggi
... se anche noi, ogni tanto, ci ricordassimo che è giustappunto verso una fine comunque ingloriosa che corriamo, può darsi che passeremmo molto più tempo a mangiare dolcetti che invece dovremmo serbare, piuttosto che angustiarci l’oggi impedendoci di fare qualsiasi cosa in nome di un domani che non si capisce bene quand’è che arriverà (arriverà?).
[original here]
Posted by Gaia at 4:27 PM 3 comments
Nov 14, 2008
suo gân ~ part II
Paid ag ofni, dim ond deilen
Gura, gura ar y ddôr
Paid ag ofni, ton fach unig
Sua, sua ar lan y môr
Huna blentyn, nid oes yma
Ddim i roddi iti fraw
Gwena'n dawel yn fy mynwes
Ar yr engyl gwynion draw
Posted by Gaia at 2:03 AM 1 comments
Nov 13, 2008
suo gân

Breichiau mam sy'n dynn amdanat
Cariad mam sy dan fy mron
Ni cha' dim amharu'th gyntun
Ni wna undyn â thi gam
Posted by Gaia at 12:15 AM 0 comments
Nov 9, 2008
remember the tinman

there are locks on the doors
and chains stretched across
all the entries to the inside
there's a gate and a fence
and bars to protect
from only God knows what lurks outside
Posted by Gaia at 11:23 PM 1 comments
Nov 5, 2008
this night
there are things/i have done/there's a place/i have gone
there's a beast/and i let it run/now it's running my way
[...]
so take this night/wrap it around me like a sheet
i know i'm not forgiven/but i need a place to sleep
so take this night/and lay me down on the street
i know i'm not forgiven/but i hope that i'll be given some peace
Posted by Gaia at 2:45 PM 0 comments
Nov 4, 2008
Nov 1, 2008
Oct 28, 2008
chasing pavements
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere?
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place
should i leave it there?
Posted by Gaia at 4:17 PM 0 comments
Aug 27, 2008
fallen
Waiting on an angel / One to carry me home / Hope you come to see me soon / Cause I don't want to go alone / Now angel won't you come by me / Angel hear my plea / Take my hand lift me up / So that I can fly with thee / And I'm waiting on an angel / And I know it won't be long / To find myself a resting place / In my angel's arms / So speak kind to a stranger / Cause you'll never know / It just might be an angel come / Knockin at your door / And I'm waiting on an angel / And I know it won't be long / To find myself a resting place / In my angel's arms / Waiting on an angel / One to carry me home / Hope you come to see me soon / Cause I don't want to go alone
Posted by Gaia at 7:17 PM 1 comments
Aug 21, 2008
Aug 20, 2008
history repeats itself.
14 years later, but still.
jump on the rollercoaster, this ride was paid in advance.
Posted by Gaia at 5:53 PM 0 comments
Aug 16, 2008
takes two to tango

now i send back letters from the wasteland home
where i slow dance to this romance on my own
it may be two to tango, but boy it's one to let go
it's just one to let go
Posted by Gaia at 12:03 AM 0 comments
Aug 10, 2008
shelter
When the sun shines, we’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
Posted by Gaia at 7:30 AM 0 comments
Aug 7, 2008
i leave my bed unmade
i leave my bed unmade
every time i enter the room, someone different is making it
someone who stays for a while
sharing a word
or just a gaze
worth a million discourses
we speak the language of dreams
they come from distant days
wearing clothes weaved with tears
of abandonment and fear
they enter with the breeze of summer days
of a world that doesn't exist
the leftovers of dreamless nights
companions of fearless times
ghosts of long-gone days
they don't stay long (i wonder why)
but after all
they never leave
Posted by Gaia at 7:34 PM 4 comments
Jul 30, 2008
how much for a ride?
spinning carousel returns the same old horse again
ramble on and on, the thoughts that fill my head
sometimes i wake up, there's nothing there but emptiness
so i search myself for what there was to do
cause she was his lover, she was his friend / he was her everything, someone to depend / when she wakes up in the mornin', and all his things are gone / she looks into the mirror, thinkin' what did i do wrong? [...] everyday has its ups and downs, you think you're lost, you will be found / most of us want the same old things, someone to love, what it brings / i know it's hard, it gets tough sometimes, you gotta hold on, like a carousel / going around and around and around and around...
Posted by Gaia at 5:47 PM 0 comments




























